I moved from Perth to the beautiful Southwest of WA just over four years ago. As a country girl born and raised, I wanted to return to the life I loved, the life I dreamed of having. I adore the slower pace, the lifestyle, and having a job I’m passionate about.
Two of my four children moved with me, both still at high school at the time, there was a few weeks of adjustment and then they slotted right in both at school and in the community when they both secured weekend jobs in local businesses. It was like they had been here forever. For me however the adjustment was harder.
Maybe I had built up an idealised image of small-town life in my head—where I’d be the “newbie” welcomed with baskets of muffins, where everyone would know my name and stop to chat. I pictured myself living a life straight out of Gilmore Girls, attending town meetings and countless local festivals. The reality was a stark contrast!
When I lived in the city, I had an active social life—I was always involved in my kids’ school activities, a dedicated P&C member, a footy club manager, and had a job that kept me busy wining and dining clients. But when I moved south, all of that disappeared. Of all the changes I had prepared for and anticipated when relocating, the social isolation was the one thing I hadn’t factored in.
It wasn’t that people were unfriendly—they weren’t. Personally, I believe it comes down to two things, one is age. People my age (let’s just say I’m closer to 50 than I’d like to admit) often already have an established social circle. On top of that, my kids were in high school, which meant there weren’t as many opportunities to meet other parents like I had in Perth.
The second factor is priorities. As we age, our priorities shift—we no longer feel the need to constantly make new connections. Instead, we focus more on the quality of the time we spend with people rather than the quantity of friends we have. I often refer to this as the ‘grumpy old lady selection process’—it’s about being more selective and having less tolerance for drama and BS.”
So, what’s the solution? I have to admit—that’s still a work in progress! Building friendships is a journey and its going to take some time. But what I do know If it still feels like a work in progress, that means I’m trying, and for now, that’s what matters.